Well,today hasn’t been the best of days. Not the worst, but still. I did nothing but upset and hurt Tanner all today, and I’m feeling deeply regretful. Felt very out of it and ill all day. My hands and feet have swollen up, and my arms keep getting shooting pain then numbness. It’s apparently a side effect of my pain meds. Going to try not to take them often, I want to be more concentrated on taking care of Tanner. We tried to work, but it didn’t work out. Fought a lot due to my stupidity. We went home and then went to the doctors for my bloodtests, but they ended up being closed. Before that dropped off a sheet to Jordan, who was very understanding. Walked a lot to the hospital and back to the bus depot. They have some sort of pools in the work zone, strange. Still feeling very badly and sad at hurting Tanner, unsure of how to make it up to him besides not making days about me selfishly anymore. His feet/legs are hurting, hope that ends soon. Both tired from the stressful day. Another full day tomorrow.

All I know is Tanner is the light of my life, the only thing that keeps me going and hopefully about the future. Without my soulmate, I’d be lost. I love him, forever and always.