Mm, so things have been up and down lately.

Cam and I have been kind of arguing lately, but we’ve been under a bit of stress and my bipolar’s been a little bad, so it’s going to get better! It’s usually because I over react about something, then close up and refuse to talk to him about it. Mostly because I’m afraid to start more fights, but it just ends up causing fights because I’m trying to not cause fights… nonfightception? o wo;

Last Sunday, we went to Seattle. Mom took Cam, Fraser, and I all up there for the day. Cam spent most of the ride up in pain and feeling sick and along the way Fraser called him a “weenie” while she and I were alone. I was extremely angry and later when I told him, it really hurt his feelings.

We tried to go to a giant toy store they had back when I lived up there, but it had gone out of business.

After that we went to Pikes Place market because apparently they are supposed to throw fish around and it’s supposed to be awesome? It sounded relatively lame to me, but in the end it didn’t really matter (lol Linkin Park reference) because there was no fish throwing. It was just an extremely crowded market and mom kept trying to stop in the middle of a busy walkway to talk to us, when we couldn’t even hear her. We did browse some shops, but mom didn’t let us stop for more then a few seconds (irony) and we didn’t go in any.

After that we went to the space needle and went up to the top. Cam and I took bunch of pictures of the city scape and mom took a couple of us together that were really cute! Mom bought a space-needle shaped cup and apparently while I was picking it out, Fraser called me a spoiled brat or something of the sort. She’s really on my shit list, now.

Then we went to the ZOO! Oh man, it was AWESOME! They messed up with the money and so we got in for free! Then we got to see wolves (and boy were they active!) and bears, as well as a snow leopard that was asleep (sadly!). The place was almost closed and most of the animals were asleep, but it was still a lot of fun.

After that we showed Cam where we used to live, which wasn’t as exciting as I hoped it would be. I wanted to take him down to the beach along Puget Sound that I used to hang out at everyday, but mom just drove around the parking lot and we left. :\

The ride home was a lot like the ride there, with Cam not feeling good. Thankfully he slept a lot of the way. Fraser spent the entire time talking about herself and making up lies. Then she asked me if I could babysit her daughter during the summer and I told her I would think about it and get back to her.

I had an interview at a fast food place and I was super excited, but yesterday they got back to me and said they decided to go with someone with more experience. Then, I tried to contact Fraser and Jon about babysitting their daughter, but they backed out of it (I shouldn’t be surprised). And THEN, to top it off, ManaHaven closed down, so I lost my job there too.

That was all yesterday, so I had a pretty bad day.

Not that Cam has had much better days, lately. On top of us bickering a bit, he’s been in serious pain, serious stress, and feeling extremely ill. We’re waiting to hear back about his doctor appointment and we’re hoping to get him some more medication for his tooth infection.

Not a lot other then that. Downloaded some coupons and gonna go shopping tomorrow, since we finally get food stamps.

Also, on a random note, I’ve been really into photography lately. But not with dolls, more photography having to do with real life. I got interested in it after Cam started browsing this photography book that my uncle got me. I started reading it and learning some new techniques, so I started getting interested!

The other night we decided to try our hand at light painting, which is a technique where you take a picture with a long exposure at night, while using a light of some kind to create streaks of light in the air.

It’s a lot of fun! I wish we had a better area to do it in, because our back yard isn’t exactly the most photogenic. Maybe we’ll play with it more somewhere, someday. C:

Well,today hasn’t been the best of days. Not the worst, but still. I did nothing but upset and hurt Tanner all today, and I’m feeling deeply regretful. Felt very out of it and ill all day. My hands and feet have swollen up, and my arms keep getting shooting pain then numbness. It’s apparently a side effect of my pain meds. Going to try not to take them often, I want to be more concentrated on taking care of Tanner. We tried to work, but it didn’t work out. Fought a lot due to my stupidity. We went home and then went to the doctors for my bloodtests, but they ended up being closed. Before that dropped off a sheet to Jordan, who was very understanding. Walked a lot to the hospital and back to the bus depot. They have some sort of pools in the work zone, strange. Still feeling very badly and sad at hurting Tanner, unsure of how to make it up to him besides not making days about me selfishly anymore. His feet/legs are hurting, hope that ends soon. Both tired from the stressful day. Another full day tomorrow.

All I know is Tanner is the light of my life, the only thing that keeps me going and hopefully about the future. Without my soulmate, I’d be lost. I love him, forever and always.

Also, we played ball today outside. It was great to be close to Tanner and have fun <3 He was so understanding and kind to me today, more then I deserve by far. Sleep time soon, have to get up to work with my wonderful man!

Mmm, so Mother’s day.

The day started out with a couple of sleepy Winter people, tumbling out of bed. From there we gave mom the cake we bought and then continued to get ready for breakfast with the family.

Then things got a little sad. We fought really bad, with both of us not wanting to go. I actually told mom to just leave with out us, but in the end we wound up going, although both extremely upset.

I blame it on the lack of sleep the previous two nights.I love you more, Tanner!

We were tense when we got there, but relaxed a little bit. It was very stressful inside the place because there were SO many people.

Every year we have breakfast on mothers day at the Keizer Fire Station, where the firemen cook breakfast. We’ve been doing it since I can remember, and I’m happy to share this tradition with Cameron!

(Mom told Cameron she considers him family, too!)

The family kindly signed a petition form I brought with me. I wanted to get my brother and his fiance’s signatures, but for some reason a few moments after they got there, they stormed off and disappeared.

Cam couldn’t have pancakes, so he got two pieces of ham.

Eventually we finished eating (but not after my cousin Angie showed up late, having assumed we were supposed to meet at 11, not 9), then we left with mom. Cam and I were still tense and awkward, unfortunately, but we were making due with it.

We headed over to Shari’s so that we could get Jon’s signature. He didn’t want to talk to us and seemed upset, but he refused to admit why he had stormed off from breakfast. Whatever, I got signatures, so he can bite my toosh. (Mom worried about it for a while, though.)

We swung by JCPennies because mom wanted to get Fraser some lingerie for her hunnymoon. Sadly, JCPennies had nothing of the sort (as I had assumed), but mom did get me a lovely dress and herself a set of pajamas. (Made my day, that dress did! She was so kind!)

After that we went to my sister-in-law Jackie’s house and visited her and my nephew, Nathan. He’s only two, but he can play flash games on a computer like a pro, using the laptop touch-pad and everything! It was amazing to see!

Then we went to a store called Eva’s, which sells sex toys and what not. The lady there was awkwardly open about everything, but we did end up getting Fraser a leopard print corset thingy, with a thong.

Then we went home and thought things were all good, but Cameron and I ended up having a nasty fall out that left us both crying and upset. It was a very, very bad fight. Thankfully, we managed to make up (as we always will) and just cuddled for a while, apologizing and comforting each other.

After that he called his mama while I attempted to take pictures of Uke, but got too angry with his wig to do much with him (just wasn’t in the groove, either. Nothing outside was inspiring me). Cam’s mama was doing good! His dad’s teeth were hurting him, though, sadly. Cam and I also drew her a Mother’s Day card and uploaded it to facebook (his idea, since he said he does it every year! But without the facebook part xD) so she could see it!

Then he took a pain med because he was in pain all day, but didn’t want to take it earlier because he wasn’t sure how it would effect him. After that mom suggested we go to Safeway to get some food-stuffs, so we headed off there.

First we stopped by Goodwill to drop off some stuff and went inside so I could look for shoes, since my dress for my brother’s wedding is far too long for me (I’m a bridesman!) and I needed something to make it drag a little bit less. We had a hard time finding some, but we managed to! Along with a shirt for Cam that looks VERY nice on him, and a stuffed Moose that says “Smooches for Mosses!” Or something like that. I forget. o wo

Cam wasn’t very crazy or anything, just a little silly and he kept saying that he felt really good. I’m glad that it helped him! He said he wasn’t in any pain at all!

We got some food stuff including soups, pepsi, and eggs. Also some cereal and oatmeal! I think we got other stuff, but I don’t remember much right now.

(In case I didn’t mention it here, we separated food from Mom, so Cam and I are buying our own food now.)

Oh! We got some mini ice creams, but then found out Cam couldn’t eat them. :(

After that we came home, watched Glee, and sat around extremely over heated because it’s freaking HOT here!

A pretty good day, though with its share of bad parts!

So Cameron and I went to the free clinic this morning to get him some antibiotics for an infection he’s been fighting that’s been causing him jaw pain. We got there super early and there were only about 12 people that showed up, so we really didn’t need to, but it was still nice to be first in line. (I think so, anyways!)

We were nervous because the last time we went it was pretty terrible, the doctor was a bitch to him and made him feel like dirt.

But this time, things went GREAT!

He talked to a minister and she prayed with him, which made him feel very good. The nurses that took his temperature and stuff (101! D: a 101 fever!) were all very kind and complimented his hair.

But the doctor… man, she made the day!

She kept calling him sweetheart and saying, “Oh, you poor thing! I’m so sorry, baby!” when she looked at his teeth and his jaw (which she said is swollen). She gave him some antibiotics, which they keep free at the clinic, so you can just get them there! Then she gave him a prescription for a non-narcotic pain killer, and ordered some blood tests.

He asked about his thyroid, since his mom has problems with hers, so she ordered some tests about that. Then she ordered a few other ones, as well as one that’s a bit scary. It’s for a disorder that causes cysts in your ovaries (?) and it could be the cause of some of his symptoms.

Here’s hoping it’s not anything like that! D:

After that, mom picked us up and left us at Subway, because she had to work for a couple more hours. The douchebag worker at subway kept throwing Cam’s food around and saying he didn’t care, as well as not asking him what kind of cheese he wanted, just putting whatever kind on. (Cam is going to call and complain later.)

Then we went to Costco to check out the pharmacy, while mom got some coffee for work. Sadly, they were out of the kind of meds he needs until monday, so we decided to go to Walmart.

We went there and mom went to eat at the Subway inside the store (lol, more Subway!) while we went to the pharmacy. The lady told us they couldn’t fill it until 3 because they were going on lunch, so we told her we’d be back while we went to ask mom if it was okay. We went and asked (meanwhile passing by Miyuki, who works there) and by the time we came back, they were closed.

After that we snuck off and bought mom a mothers-day mini cake (or jumbo cupcake, or something) that we’re going to give her tomorrow! We also got some candy for Cam to suck on to help with nausea.

Then we left and went to a different Walmart, which told us the prescription would be a few hours. So we went home and I took a nap while Cam stayed up sick (I feel pretty bad for that).

Thankfully when I got up they were done, so we headed there and got them, then went shopping for Fraser’s wedding gift. Didn’t end up getting something, though.

All in all, it was a great day! Although mom was driving us a little crazy, today.

At one point she said, “Sometimes I think I’m a little selfish.” Cam and I both laughed inwardly.

Today was an awesome day C: Last night I was thinking of ways to be more romantic for Tanner *many thoughts occurred* and stumbled upon a picnic idea! But I wanted it to be even more personal, so I thought I’d try bento style. I drew a lot of ideas before I came up with what I wanted. When we went to go to bed, I just couldn’t sleep. So I snuck to the kitchen to prep rice and carrot flowers. Some Pokemon might have occurred before sleeping C: Waking up to Tanner was, as usual, amazing! Then I shooed him to the living room so I could prep. When we finally went it was perfect! *besides the Pepsi exploding in a water bottle :x*. It was so much fun to see Tanny’s face light up with joy and surprise, and he looked so very beautiful in the sunlight under the trees. I enjoyed myself greatly, especially cuddling with him for a bit on the blanket. We had a nice night together doing our usual stuff and watching TV. I can’t wait for another amazing day with him tomorrow <3

SURPRISE!

Cam took me on a spontaneous picnic today! He really surprised me!

Not only that, but the food he made for me was in the style of bento, like they do in Japan! It was SO baby sweet! I just wanted to squeal for hours and not stop!

Here’s some pictures of the food he made for me!

Such an AMAZING day!

I woke up around 8 AM and made an appointment to get my CPAP machine evaluated (since I am using a loner so they can figure out how to make the settings on mine, or if I even need one). They weren’t open yet, so I went back to sleep until around 10:30, then made the appointment.

After that, I was about to go back to sleep when I got a text message. It was a guy named Jordan, saying that he was sorry about the short notice, but if I could I should meet him downtown to fill out paperwork for a job.

After a few moments of tired groaning, Cameron and I decided to go for it and dragged ourselves out of bed.

Still grumbling, we made our way out, got some bus change at 7-Eleven, and caught the bus for downtown.

By the time we got there we were all prepared and awake. We met up with Jordan, a little skeptical about the whole thing, but after a few more people showed up we realized the whole thing was very legit!

We filled out some paperwork and BAM… we both have jobs! TOGETHER!

Our job is to get people to sign a petition to get the legalization of marijuana onto the 2012 Oregon ballot. We’ll be getting 10 dollars an hour and working our own schedule at our own places.

A job! Together! And on our 1 1/2 year!

But it getsbetter.

After a great day of being together, I got the random urge to turn on my old laptop and it TURNED ON! I got all of my old stuff off of it!

SUCH A GREAT DAY!

So last night we found out that Cam is allergic to shell fish.

He tried a piece of crab with dinner and although he didn’t try the shrimp that mom made, some of it was sitting on top of the rice that he ate.

A few hours after dinner he noticed his skin starting to itch and not long after his arms, back, chest, and some of his face started to turn red and get incredibly itchy.

I gave him some benadril gels (fast acting) and rubbed him down with calamine lotion (which did little to stop the itching). It took almost an hour but eventually the redness and itching went away, thankfully.

No more shellfish for him!

Yesterday my mom bought me a new laptop! So happy. C: It was almost 150 dollars more then she said she was willing to spend, but she bought it anyways! It’s a great laptop, too!

Today Cam and I went for a walk in order to get a Geocach in for Earth Day. We were told we got a free icon on the Geocach website if we did one so we did. It wasn’t very far from our house so we just walked there and got it done. C: Real easy one, but it was super fun!

I wanted to go to Waterfront park and play in the sprinklers since it was almost 80 degrees outside, but sadly we realized that they probably aren’t on yet, since it’s not summer.

After that I got online and applied for a bunch of jobs. I don’t know why, but I’ve been feeling very motivated to apply for a bunch lately. I don’t have a good feeling though, like I normally would if I was going to get an interview. I honestly don’t think I’m going to be able to find a job, for some reason. Oh well, I guess all I can do is try.

Cam is looking into going to school. He wants to apply for FASFA and I really hope he can get it! He’s excited about it! I’ve even thought about going back to school and have been considering getting a teaching degree, but since I often change my mind, I’m not sure if it will happen.

Cam looked up a recipe for gluten-free cookies and found one that he decided to try, so I sat in the kitchen with him (drawing) while he made them. They turned out YUMMY! They don’t look great, but they are tasty, which I am glad for! He doesn’t get to eat tasty things very often, sadly.

Cam’s parents are going to send his tablet, since it’s back in Michigan. I’m not very good with a tablet, but I’m going to try to use it.

And now for the most important part of this post;

HAPPY ONE YEAR, SIX MONTHS MY LOVE!

That’s right… one year and six months ago, Cameron and I started dating. It feels like heaven, being with him! And just think… he moved in just after our one year, which means we’ve been living together for six months and everyday is just as heavenly as the first!

I love you, sweetheart!

So my tablet-screened laptop has said goodbye for good. :(

But thankfully my gracious mother has offered to buy me a new laptop for my birthday (which is in September)!

Sometimes I really love her. :)

Cam and I went for a walk today after he got some things done, including calling the tattoo parlor where we got ours done to make a touch-up appointment. He also called in to the plasma donation center and found out we need a SS card to do it. Since I don’t have one, I’ll have to get mine replaced before I can.

Then we tried out a new game called Divina which just opened. Cameron didn’t really like it, though. But we’re going to try it a little longer in a less stressful environment.

I really should be working on pixels, but I don’t have a drive for it at the moment. I don’t really like doing it on the desktop. Maybe I’ll get one thing done so I don’t feel so bad.